Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

If everyone in Russia dropped into holes in the ground only never to return, would that be good for NATO and international peacekeepers? Can we convince Russians to be less diabolical, so they coexist? Does Putin stink like doo doo in the commode?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for fakery

Beautiful European women were killed by inquisition but Russia was not Catholic. Is this the reason for a drastic difference explaining why Russian women are the prettiest?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What will help me to get a bigger butt naturally?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Why do creationists ask for proof of evolution and then ignore the answers?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Why do atheists always argue about the existence of suffering in the world as meaning God doesn't exist when it doesn't prove anything?

I actually pay taxes

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Scientists have discovered 'third state' between life and death - WKRC

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t cotton to rapists

There was this one weird Bollywood movie that was released in the 2000s. Amitabh Bachchan was starring with another actress and the story was about how the old guy (Amitabh Bachchan) fell in love with the young woman. What is the name of this movie?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Why do people believe that global warming is man made?

I see through liars

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Jonas Brothers cancel and move upcoming concerts, including one in North Texas - WFAA

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have a reading level above third grade

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What was the most inappropriate thing your parent caught you doing as a teen? Was in the bedroom, I thought nobody else was home. My sister and I shared that bedroom but I knew she was gone. I didn’t know my dad was home though.

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can count

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t buy bullshit

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I can read